Business Lesson 101

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office.... but she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you..." The girl looked at him, then said, "NO."

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.... so she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened....?

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed

Prank - Upside Down Cup

Are you feeling in the mood to play a good prank on your co-worker? here try this:

Fill a cup with water about half way. Then place an index card over the cup. Then turn the cup upside down on your co-worker's desk. Finally, carefully slide the index card out from underneath the cup. Whenever your co-worker decides to pick the cup up, he will be drenched in water.

Don't forget to post a comment to let me know how the prank went. LOL

Enjoy

Funny animation

SOMETHING WOMEN CAN'T DO IN PUBLIC

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up.

There is a God

Ketchup accident

My phone is rining off the hook...

Funny Questions...

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

Why is sex like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
To find a tight seal.

What's the speed limit you can go with sex?
68; if you go 1 over this limed you'll turn over

What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.

What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A cherry float.

What's the difference between sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.

What three words are most likely to strike panic when you making love?
Honey I'm home.

My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for Viagra.
He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

What's the difference between a fridge and a fanny?
A fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

If You Do Not Change Direction, You May End Up Where You Are Heading

THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES

Satmar court slams Neturei Karta

Are there limits to anti-Zionism? Typically anti-Zionist Orthodox sector issues condemnation of seven Orthodox Jews who attended Iranian Holocaust denial conference last week
Neta Sela

The Satmar Hassidism Court published an unprecedented statement calling on the public to disassociate themselves from the seven Neturei Karta members who visited Iran to attend the Holocaust denial conference this week.

The Satmar movement printed an official placard, with bold black lettering, publicly denouncing “fanaticism, and those committing insane acts to walk hand in hand with the Arabs.”

The court further ordered that the offenders be shunned and their actions be condemned. It slams the offenders for “joining in desecrating the name of the heavens.

The declaration expresses astonishment at how a few people “dared attend a special conference of the nations of the world that despise Israel (may the names of the evil rot), deny the Holocaust, and deny and belittle the immensity of the evil and murder of those killed for sanctifying the lord; they desecrated the name of the heavens.”

Residents of the Orthodox neighborhood of Mea Shearim said that the Orthodox leaders could not stand the fact that those individuals who visited Iran identify themselves as Satmar Jews, and thus stain the name of Orthodoxy.

The Satmar Orthodox group is the largest Orthodox sector worldwide, numbering some 120,000 people, and holds adamant anti-Zionist views.

Yitzhak Weiss, an editor of a Hassidic journal, told Ynet: “The rabbinate issued the declaration to attack those Orthodox who represented Orthodox Judaism at the Holocaust denial conference. What they did there is a simple crime against humanity.”

ynetnews

Ahmadinejad kisser's wife files for divorce

Neturei Karta member Moshe Aryeh Friedman returns from Tehran Holocaust denial conference to his home in Vienna, discovers his wife has left him
Chaim Levinson

Moshe Aryeh Friedman, a senior Neturei Karta member, who passionately kissed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, will now be forced to look for a woman who will agree to kiss him, as his wife has decided to leave him following his participation in the Holocaust denial conference which took place in Tehran about a month ago.

The participation of six Neturei Karta leaders in the Holocaust denial conference in Tehran continues to stirr up emotions in the ultra-Orthodox community.

Friedman, who lives in Vienna, is the harshest person among the Neturei Karta representatives who arrived in Iran , and was even photographed kissing the Iranian president. He also stayed in Iran for another two weeks after his friends left, visiting universities across the country in order to speak against the State of Israel .

The 'Ultra-Orthodox Voice' service reported that when Friedman finally returned to Vienna he found out that his wife, following her parents' advice, had fled to the Satmar community in Williamsburg, New York City. There she approached rabbis and asked them to help her divorce her husband due to his misdeeds.

Friedman is not the only Neturei Karta member who is in trouble following the Holocaust denial conference. The group's British representative has been put under tight security for fear he would be hurt after the Jewish community in the United Kingdom decided to banish him.

ynetnews

Amazing technology from Japan. . . .

TRULY AMAZING...



Look closely and guess what they could be...

Are they pens with Cameras?


Ladies and gentlemen... congratulations!

You've just looked into the future... yep that's right!

You've just seen something that will replace your PC in the near future.

Here is how it works:



In the revolution of miniature computers, scientists have made great developments with bluetooth technology..



This is the forthcoming computers you can carry within your pockets .

How to spend more money in retirement without going broke

I am not old or close to getting but I found this article and I thought it maybe intresting to read it.

Keeping the gold in the golden years

Congratulations if you've saved enough money for a comfortable retirement. Now comes the hard part: spending it.

With more people living into their 80s and even 90s, having enough money to last literally a lifetime is a major concern. Your working years were consumed with how much you could make. Retirement planning is about how much you can take without running dry, and which accounts -- taxable or tax-deferred -- to tap first.

Many retirees force themselves to spend less. Or they shift more money into bonds, dividend-paying stocks and other conservative, interest-bearing investments, intending to use the regular income for expenses and not dip into principal.

That seems prudent, but such penny-pinching strategies will likely lead to disappointment in both the quality of your life and the quantity of your savings, financial planners say.

"People need cash flow; they need money and they need it to grow by more than the inflation rate," said Harold Evensky, a financial adviser in Coral Gables, Fla. "You need to think holistically and throw out the concept of an income portfolio."

Few seniors have amassed enough assets to meet income needs from bonds and dividends alone. Plus, over time yields fluctuate and inflation weakens a portfolio's purchasing power.

In response, financial planners increasingly advocate a retirement-spending strategy that hinges on withdrawing a set percentage of a portfolio's total asset value in regular installments. Think of it as salary you pay yourself.

The '4% solution'

A generalized approach to spending starts with a "4% solution" -- taking 4% of a portfolio's total value in the first year of retirement and increasing this amount annually to match inflation. For example, withdrawing 4% from a $250,000 portfolio would generate $10,000, or $833 a month. If inflation was 3%, you'd pocket $10,300 the next year.

But 4% is a baseline. A study by financial adviser Jonathan Guyton, published in the March 2006 Journal of Financial Planning, says retirees can accelerate spending provided they adjust to market fluctuations.

His research shows that retirees can confidently withdraw as much as 5.5% each year for 30 years, adding an amount equal to the rate of inflation, from a portfolio of 65% stocks, 25% bonds and 10% cash. A mix of 80% stocks, 10% bonds and 10% cash could support a 6% payout each year. That's riskier, to be sure, but still carries an equally high probability that your money will last.

No matter your portfolio allocation, a successful outcome depends on sticking to certain guidelines, Guyton says.

First: If the value of your portfolio after you have withdrawn your money is lower at the end of the year than when you started, you do not make any adjustment for inflation in the following year's withdrawal.

In rarer cases, gains or losses may be large enough to hit what Guyton dubs "guardrails."

In periods when losses are severe enough that the portfolio withdrawal rate increases by a percentage point or more, say to 6.5% from 5.5%, you employ the "capital preservation" guardrail: Take the inflation adjustment for the following year, but reduce the total amount to be withdrawn by 10%. In this example, a $10,000 withdrawal with 3% inflation would equate to $10,300 less 10%, or $9,270.

On the other side of the lane is the guardrail for better conditions. If the percentage of your total assets withdrawn decreases by a percentage point or more, take the inflation adjustment for the following year and give yourself a 10% increase. So if you would have withdrawn $10,300, you can comfortably award yourself an extra $1,030.

"With these guardrails, you can navigate the tough times," Guyton said. "If you have a big enough gain, trip the prosperity guard rail and get the bonus."

Money matters

When drawing down assets, planning experts say to keep in mind other important rules of the retirement road.

Rebalance the portfolio: To fund portfolio withdrawals, bring stock-bond allocations back to preset levels once a year. Sell long-term stock-market winners first, paying the 15% capital-gains tax (5% for filers in the lowest bracket), Guyton advises. If that doesn't cover your needs, then sell bonds and cash. Only in a pinch do you part with underperforming stocks, he adds, giving laggards time to rebound. For the same reason, turn to bonds and cash first in years where the portfolio posts losses.

Sell securities from taxable accounts first: This way, your money in 401(k), IRAs and other qualified plans continues to grow tax-deferred. "By taking the money out of the more heavily taxed account first, your portfolio may last another few years," said Bill Reichenstein, professor of investments at Baylor University.

An exception: Those with unusually low taxable income in years leading up to required minimum distributions after age 70 1/2 should take advantage by either withdrawing money from a tax-deferred account or converting money from a traditional IRA into a Roth IRA , Reichenstein adds.

Spend more early in retirement: It's probably OK to boost the withdrawal rate when you're more active and cut back in later years. But do so only if health care and other costly expenses are covered.

Gear retirement spending to expected cash flow: Bill Bengen, a California-based financial adviser who coined the "4% Solution" in an influential 1994 Journal of Financial Planning study, is crafting another portfolio innovation: basing withdrawal rates on a client's total financial circumstances. Will you rely on a fixed pension plan that doesn't keep pace with inflation? Probably you can't spend as much. Are you banking on an inheritance or about to pay off a mortgage? Maybe you can spend more.

"Using a year-by-year forecast, you build a model of retirement going out to the end of lives," Bengen said. "It's nice to come up with a number like 4.5%, but what does it mean if you're not looking at the rest of the client's situation?"

MarketWatch

What to consider when hiring a tax preparer

With tax season looming, it's certainly tempting to hire someone to prepare your tax return. And in many cases, hiring an expert can save you a lot of time and money.

But remember, you're still legally responsible for your own tax return even if it's prepared by someone else. Thus, you want to make sure you hire someone capable and qualified. The IRS offers the following guidelines for choosing a tax professional:

• Be skeptical of preparers who claim they can get you a larger refund than others. If your return is prepared correctly, every preparer should get very similar numbers.
• If a preparer guarantees results or bases fees on a percentage of the amount of the refund, beware. According to the IRS, "A practitioner may not charge a contingent fee (percentage of your refund) for preparing an original tax return."
• Choose a preparer you will have easy access to. Be sure to check who will actually be preparing the return -- if a firm delegates your work to someone with less training or to an unknown worker, take your business somewhere else. Check if the preparer will send your return to a foreign country for preparation. If so, that's a red flag -- foreign countries don't have the same security and privacy laws as the U.S., so you won't have the same recourse if your information is compromised.
• Check the preparer's history with the Better Business Bureau, the state's board of accountancy for CPAs or the IRS Office of Professional Responsibility for enrolled agents. Make sure the preparer's credentials meet your needs.

Once you've hired a preparer, here's what you need to know:

• Your preparer must sign the return and complete the preparer portions of the form and include his or her identifying number. He or she should also give you a copy of the return.
• Be sure to review your return and understand your entries before it is sent in.
• Never sign a blank return or sign in pencil.

For more information, visit www.irs.gov.

MarketWatch

Syrians and Israelis 'held talks'

The Israelis and Syrians have held secret talks about a peace deal, a former Israeli diplomat has said.

Dr Alon Liel said the meetings were arranged in a private capacity, and Israeli sources said the talks were not officially sanctioned by Israel.

Israel's Haaretz daily says a series of agreements were reached, including an Israeli withdrawal from the Golan Heights, captured from Syria in 1967.

But the talks apparently collapsed with Israel's war in Lebanon last year.

According to the paper, Israeli and Syrian representatives met secretly in Europe several times between September 2004 and July 2006.

In exchange for a full Israeli pull-out from Golan Heights, captured in the Six Day War 30 years ago, Syria would end support for anti-Israel militant groups.

But Dr Liel stressed to the BBC that the representatives were operating privately and were not aiming at a final agreement, but a framework.

While Israeli says that non-government representatives from the two countries may have met, Syria denies any secret meetings took place.

Official peace talks between Syria and Israel broke down six years ago, after Syria demanded that Israel hand over the Golan Heights.

But last October, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad said Damascus would be prepared to hold talks with Israel.

He acknowledged Syria and Israel could live side-by-side in peace accepting each other's existence.

Israel's deputy prime minister Shimon Peres also said Syrian representatives would be welcome to come to Jerusalem for talks.

But Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert distanced himself from Mr Peres's remarks. The invitation, his spokesman said, was not issued on his behalf.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6267117.stm

For $20...

A woman approached her new Husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Olmert probed over banking sale

Police have opened an investigation into Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's role in the 2005 privatisation of the country's second largest bank.

It has been alleged that while finance minister, Mr Olmert tried to help two businessmen wanting to buy Bank Leumi.

He has denied the allegation, the latest in a series of charges of wrongdoing against Israeli politicians.

Mr Olmert has already faced several corruption inquiries, but no formal charges have been filed.

A controlling stake into the Bank Laumi was eventually bought by a US investment group to which the businessmen were unconnected.

Prosecutors first approached Mr Olmert at the end of October as part of a preliminary inquiry into the affair.

"The findings of the preliminary investigation led to the conclusion that there was a sufficient evidence to open a criminal investigation," a statement from the Israeli justice ministry said.

Mr Olmert's office has yet to respond to news of this investigation, which comes as his approval ratings slipped to their lowest since he took office last May.

A poll on Friday suggested support had slumped to just 14%.

Two allies of Mr Olmert are currently on trial: former Justice Minister Haim Ramon is charged with sexual misconduct while Tzahi Hanegbi is charged with making illegal appointments as environment minister.

All deny any wrongdoing.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/6268161.stm

Looking for a Job?

Five sets of gold teeth..

Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had five sets of solid gold false teeth made. When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have five sets of gold teeth.

So Moisha explained. "We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products, but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth." The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?" Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food.

The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?" "Vell to tell you the truth, vonce in a vile I like a ham sandwich."

Sweeping things under the carpet?

Within Jewish circles, much of the focus on sexual predators has centered on the Orthodox community, particularly its more fervently religious precincts, where some contend that clergy sex abuse is more hidden — and possibly more widespread — than elsewhere.

Whether or not those contentions are true, the problem in that community was spotlighted by two recent episodes. They are among several incidents, emanating from across the denominational spectrum, that JTA examined in its investigation of the Jewish community’s response to clergy sex abuse.

The first of two episodes that JTA tracked in the fervently Orthodox, or haredi, community involved a fierce debate over remarks by a haredi rabbi who reportedly suggested that his community sweeps the issue "under the carpet." The second involved the arrest of a haredi rabbi and teacher, who was charged with sexual abuse and endangering the welfare of a minor.

On Thanksgiving, at the annual national convention of Agudath Israel of America, a haredi advocacy organization, Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon, a featured speaker, ignited a controversy with his discussion of the haredi response to clergy sex abuse.

Salomon, a dean of Beth Medrash Govoha in Lakewood, one of the world’s largest yeshivas, said, according to an Agudath Israel spokesman, that haredim are indeed guilty of "sweeping things under the carpet." What he meant was open to interpretation. Salomon declined comment, but according to the Agudath Israel spokesman, Rabbi Avi Shafran, Salomon meant that rather than ignoring or covering up sexual misconduct, as detractors maintain, haredi officials deal with it discreetly to protect the dignity of the families of perpetrators and victims.

The response to Salomon’s remarks was swift and often heated, with several Website and blog contributors arguing that the rabbi’s comments should be taken literally — that is, haredi officials often look the other way when clergy sex abuse takes place in their midst.

Shafran, who accused the online detractors of making glib and sweeping generalizations without corroborating evidence, termed the comments "abhorrent."

Other communities were criticized as well on one Website.

"Denial, secrecy, and sweeping under the carpet are not unique to charedi, Orthodox, or Jewish institutions," wrote Nachum Klafter, a self-described "frum psychiatrist," in a Nov. 26 posting on the Website haloscan.com. "They are typical reactions of well-intentioned, scandalized human beings to the horrible shock of childhood sexual abuse."

Eleven days after those remarks were posted, a haredi rabbi, Yehuda Kolko, was arrested and charged in connection with the alleged molestation of a 9-year-old boy and a 31-year-old man, both former students of his during different eras at Brooklyn’s Yeshiva-Mesivta Torah Temimah. Kolko, 60, had long served the yeshiva as a teacher and an assistant principal.

Kolko, meanwhile, is named in at least four civil suits filed over the past eight months by his alleged victims, including the 9-year-old boy. The most recent litigation, which seeks $10 million in damages from Torah Temimah, was filed in New York state court the day before Kolko was arrested. It alleges not only that Kolko molested the 9-year-old during the 2003-04 school year, but that the school administration covered up the rabbi’s pedophilia for 25 years.

The suit charges that Rabbi Lipa Margulies, identified as the leader of Torah Temimah, knew of many "credible allegations of sexual abuse and pedophilia against Kolko," yet continued to employ him as an elementary school teacher "and give him unfettered access to young children."

Avi Moskowitz, the attorney representing Torah Temimah, said: "The yeshiva adamantly denies the allegations in the complaints and is sure that when the cases are over, the yeshiva will be vindicated."

Another one of the lawsuits brought against Torah Temimah was filed in May by David Framowitz, now 49 and living in Israel. In that $10 million federal litigation Framowitz, who was joined by a co-plaintiff also seeking $10 million, alleged that he was victimized by Kolko while he was a seventh- and eighth-grader at Torah Temimah.

Although the lawsuit, which named Kolko as a co-defendant, referred to Framowitz only as "John Doe No. 1," he has since dropped his anonymity and gone public with his story.

"That’s the only way that people would believe that there’s actually a problem, if they knew that there’s a real person out there who was molested," Framowitz told JTA in a recent telephone interview. "There are many other victims out there, and I want people to know that this really exists."

Framowitz grew up, in part, in fervently Orthodox communities in Brooklyn where rabbinic sex abuse, he said, is rarely reported. And when it is reported, he added, rabbinic courts seldom have the expertise or the inclination to deal with it effectively.

After his own reports of abuse were met with disbelief and inaction, Framowitz said he chose to "deeply bury" his painful memories of the alleged incidents.

"I never really got over it," he said, "but I was able to get on with my life." An accountant, Framowitz made aliyah several years ago and lives in the west bank community of Karnei Shomron with his wife and four adult children. They have one grandson.

Framowitz said he decided to speak out publicly about his experience after he learned through the Internet in the fall of 2005 that Kolko was still teaching young boys. He said he is relieved that Kolko has been arrested and charged, although in connection with reported incidents unrelated to his alleged victimization.

"It’s a relief knowing that the story is finally out there," Framowitz said, "and that maybe Kolko will be prevented from being around other kids."

JTA tried unsuccessfully to reach Kolko, who along with Framowitz was the focus of a May 15 New York magazine story that said "rabbi-on-child molestation," according to several sources, "is a widespread problem in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and one that has been long covered up."

Attorney Jeffrey Herman, who is representing the plaintiffs in the lawsuits stemming from Kolko’s alleged misconduct, was quoted in the New York magazine piece saying that the clergy abuse situation in the haredi community "reminds me of where the Catholic Church was 15 or 20 years ago. What I see are some members of the community turning a blind eye to what’s going on in their backyards."

Sifting the evidence

Hard numbers are not available to determine if clergy sex abuse is more widespread in haredi communities than in other Jewish locales. However, several insiders said there is anecdotal evidence that abuse often goes unreported there. The reason, they said, is that many people in those communities, which are noted for their insularity, resistance to modernity, and reverence for religious leaders, are loath to confront rabbis for fear of being publicly shunned.

Shafran said he doubts that clergy sex abuse is more prevalent in the fervently Orthodox world than elsewhere. Asked whether victims there are afraid to report abuse, he said, "I hope it’s not true. But it’s easy to see how someone would be reluctant to publicly report such an issue."

He said modesty, which is prized by many haredim, might preclude the open discussion of matters "that are part of the average radio talk show agenda."

"Offenders have learned to hide behind" the reluctance of victims to speak out, said Brian Leggiere, an Orthodox Jew and a psychiatrist in Manhattan who has treated both perpetrators and victims of sexual abuse. He added, though, "The situation is changing for the better, but very slowly. Each community is different, so it’s hard to generalize."

In some neighborhoods, Leggiere pointed out, public safety is beginning to gain traction as an ideal worth defending, as is the notion that professional therapy or other forms of treatment for sex abuse victims, as well as for perpetrators, should not be stigmatized.

Judging the judges

Among many Orthodox Jews, the preferred forum for adjudicating communal disputes is a bet din, a rabbinic court. But critics say such panels often try to dissuade sex abuse victims from pursuing their complaints, a charge vigorously denied by Shafran. But, he added, "In cases where there is some degree of doubt, the beit din has a responsibility to counsel against going to authorities until there is proven criminal activity."

Mark Dratch, a modern Orthodox rabbi who chairs the Rabbinical Council of America’s Task Force on Rabbinic Improprieties, said that if the bet din "is used to make the community safer, that’s appropriate. If that relationship is used to bypass the justice system, I think that’s wrong, particularly in cases of suspected criminal activity.

"The problem in the ultra-Orthodox community is people go to the bet din and not to civil authorities. There is a very complicated relationship between rabbis and civil authorities," he said. "It doesn’t always work appropriately."

Dratch, who now directs JSafe, a nonprofit organization addressing abuse in the Jewish community, said he has "pleaded with members of Agudah to expose the dangers of clerical and familial abuse. I said if you don’t expose, victims have no place to turn."

Agudath Israel has not promulgated anti-abuse policies for its affiliated congregations, Shafran conceded, "nor have there been complaints" of sexual misconduct at Agudath Israel-affiliated congregations. But he added, "I wouldn’t rule out that one day there would be such guidelines. The Talmud teaches us that we should stay away from even the appearance of impropriety."

Agudath Israel does have binding behavioral guidelines that apply to its youth groups and its five summer camps, which serve about 2,000 youngsters, according to Shafran.

Yehuda Kolko worked at one of those camps, Camp Agudah in Ferndale, N.Y., decades ago, according to Shafran, apparently long before the behavioral guidelines existed.

The federal lawsuit filed in May states that while Kolko was at Camp Agudah, he repeatedly molested Framowitz, who was a camper there in the summers following his seventh- and eighth-grade years at Torah Temimah.

Framowitz’s co-plaintiff — "John Doe No. 2," an adult male living in the United States — alleged that he also was abused by Kolko, but only at Torah Temimah. The lawsuit contends that the administrations at both the camp and the school knew Kolko was a pedophile and did nothing about it.

Shafran declined comment on the litigation, which is being divided into two complaints, one for each plaintiff, according to attorney Herman. The complaint initiated by Framowitz has been dismissed on the plaintiffs’ initiative but will be refiled, Framowitz and Herman said.

An attorney representing Kolko in the federal litigation declined comment on behalf of his client.

Elsewhere in Orthodoxy

The modern Orthodox community was deeply scarred by the sex abuse scandal involving Rabbi Baruch Lanner, a former regional director of the National Conference of Synagogue Youth, a branch of the centrist Orthodox Union.

Lanner was sentenced in 2002 to seven years in prison for sexually abusing two female students during the 1990s while he was their principal at a yeshiva high school in New Jersey.

However, a 2000 report by a special O.U. commission found that Lanner had also sexually abused women and teenage girls, and physically abused boys and girls while he was a leader at NCSY. The case attracted widespread attention, in part, because the report said some O.U. and NCSY leaders had failed to take action for several years to halt Lanner’s misconduct.

Ultimately, according to organization insiders, O.U. Executive Vice President Rabbi Raphael Butler resigned under pressure in the wake of the scandal.

Both the O.U. and the NCSY have upgraded behavioral guidelines and enhanced anti-abuse training programs, according to officials at both organizations. The NCSY policies, which cover 17 pages and were revised most recently in October, are binding on at least 25,000 individuals, including NCSY professionals, volunteers, and program participants. The guidelines spell out prohibited conduct in detail, and include step-by-step instructions for filing an abuse complaint.

Both O.U. and NCSY officials said they are not aware of any complaints of sexual misconduct toward youths since the NCSY guidelines were upgraded a few years ago.

The Chabad-Lubavitch movement has no written conduct guidelines applying specifically to its estimated 4,000 global emissaries, known as shluchim, or its approximately 3,000 multi-use facilities that double as synagogues and are usually referred to as Chabad Houses.

However, many Chabad Houses have adopted behavioral policies originally formulated for the movement’s schools, according to movement spokesman Rabbi Zalman Shmotkin.

In addition, according to Shmotkin, shluchim must strictly abide by the Shulchan Aruch, the 16th-century code of Jewish law that prohibits non-married or unrelated adults of the opposite sex from being secluded with each other.

On the school front

Some of the denominational policies examined by JTA are designed to guard against situations that could result in inappropriate contact with minors, regardless of their sex. They mandate, for example, that at least two adults be present when a child is receiving private religious instruction.

A non-seclusion requirement is among many anti-abuse provisions included in mandatory school behavioral policies adopted by Chabad about five years ago. The policies cover approximately 2,000 personnel at some 350 Chabad schools attended by about 24,000 students.

The policies also instruct school officials to consult two recognized rabbinic authorities — one Chabad-affiliated and one not — regarding the centuries-old Jewish legal injunction known as mesirah, which in some instances prohibits Jews from reporting Jewish perpetrators to non-Jewish authorities.

Mesirah has been blamed for the reticence of some Orthodox sex abuse victims to go public with their complaints. In a spring 2004 article in the anti-abuse publication Working Together, Dratch of JSafe said that in cases of child sex abuse, "the consensus of contemporary Jewish religious authorities is that such reporting is religiously mandatory."

Three years ago, several safeguards were adopted by Torah Umesorah-The National Society for Hebrew Day Schools, a service organization — the largest of its kind in the United States — that provides religious educational materials for nearly 200,000 Orthodox students spanning that denomination’s ideological spectrum.

The Torah Umesorah guidelines, which were presented to school principals, warn teachers and other staffers to refrain from sexually immodest behavior or speech and from inappropriate touching. They also prohibit school personnel from being secluded with students.

But the guidelines are nonbinding because each of the hundreds of schools served by Torah Umesorah are self-governing.

"We’re a service agency, not a governing agency," Rabbi Joshua Fishman, the organization’s executive vice president, told JTA.

Elliot Pasik, a New York attorney and children’s rights advocate, said the way in which the guidelines were distributed calls into question Torah Umesorah’s commitment to protecting students from sexually predatory teachers and other staffers.

The guidelines were accompanied by a Sept. 24, 2003, cover letter signed by Fishman that said in part: "This document should be maintained with a sense of confidentiality. It should only be shared with your educational administrative and teaching staff."

Perhaps as a result of that directive, Pasik said few, if any, parents he knows with children attending schools serviced by Torah Umesorah were told about the rules unless they called the Torah Umesorah national office in Manhattan. Pasik’s children have attended yeshivas affiliated with Torah Umesorah.

Furthermore, he added, "I have personally spoken with several teachers and they knew nothing about these guidelines."

Asked to respond, Fishman declined comment, except to say, "We believe that molesters should be reported."

Pasik said the situation shows the need for a centralized governing body — perhaps a state or federal agency — that can hold schools accountable for the safety of students.

"It’s hard for people in any organization to govern themselves," he said. "We’re not being patrolled or governed by anybody."

Pasik recently lobbied for passage of legislation in New York that authorizes non-public schools to require fingerprinting and FBI background checks for prospective employees. The measure was enacted Aug. 16.

The larger issue of child molestation in the Orthodox community was addressed in a one-page statement accompanying the Torah Umesorah guidelines.

Issued by the organization’s rabbinical board, the statement says, in part, that "a small number of individuals have caused untold pain to many children. In addition to the sins which they have committed, they have created painful memories in the minds of their victims, memories which can have a devastating lifetime impact."

The statement urges "everyone to use every means to stop these violations of children, including, at times, exposing the identities of the abusers and even their incarceration. At times, our primary intent may not be to punish the perpetrators, but rather to help them. Therefore, it is preferable, wherever appropriate, to force them to undergo appropriate professional therapy."

http://www.jstandard.com/articles/2119/1/Sweeping-things-under-the-carpet%3F

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Peace, love and prosperity to all!

Nothing but the truth with Israeli Internet lie detector

NETANYA, Israel (AFP) - Have you ever wondered if someone you are chatting to is telling the truth? New lie detector software from high-tech powerhouse Israel says it can show you -- across the Internet.

"We tested it with the (former US president Bill) Clinton speech about his relationship with his intern Monica Lewinsky," said Zvi Marom, head of the company behind the product.

"When he says 'I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky', the lie detector's needle jumps through the roof," said the founder and CEO of BATM Advanced Communications, a high-tech firm in an industrial park on the outskirts of Netanya on Israel's northern coast.

Since signing a deal in December with Internet telephony giant Skype, the company's server has crashed five times after tens of thousands of web users rushed to download the lie detector, offered for free.

"This is a really neat application, and the kind of thing we want to see more of," said a statement from Paul Amery, director of the Skype Developer programme.

The six employees of BATM subsidiary KishKish (www.kishkish.com), in Israel and Bulgaria, developed the add-on, which has an interface resembling a real polygraph, complete with monitors and needles.

It is one of many new applications for Internet telephony, which is rapidly becoming one of the most popular methods of communication.

The lie detector monitors in real time the stress levels in a speakers voice.

"In the end, the voice is the biggest manifesto of what we think," said Marom.

Voice stress analysis, or VSA, is a disputed technology that attempts to measure stress levels by observing the amplitude of tremors in a person's voice. The Israeli military is often cited as a major user of this technology.

A user of the Internet lie detector needs to talk for 15 seconds to calibrate his or her voice, then sound waves start to peak if stress levels are high, a light flashes from green to red and a needle jumps to the end of a scale.

Despite little evidence to prove that lie-detecting machines work, let alone over the Internet, KishKish and Skype clients remain unfazed.

Employees spend hours responding to emails and forums from thousands of users across the world, and they brush off criticism on their web forum from people having trouble using the tool.

"If you just make something up for the sake of it, it wont work because you wont be stressed," explained Alex Rosenbaum, 35, head of development at KishKish.

The company said it tested the tool on an insurance company that reported it was more than 90 percent accurate. It also said it had requests from police services to adapt the software, and even offers from former Russian spies to help develop it.

"I get a lot of emails about people wanting to carry out professional interviews over Skype, but we say you should check with your legal authorities," Rosenbaum said.

The lie detector warns users when they are being monitored to avoid legal problems, he added.

Working with Skype for more than a year, KishKish has developed a number of add-ons for Internet telephone services, including an answering machine, contacts book and Short Message Service (SMS), but none has been as popular as the lie detector.

KishKish sees the project as a further attempt to stretch the possibilities of Internet communications, and for now -- like many Internet start ups -- it offers the product for free.

"Were trying to play in the right area and build the correct business model for the future," said Rosenbaum.

Workers at the small office, in a landscape of palm tree-lined roads, shopping malls and beachside apartments, spend many hours playing with ideas for a range of new products.

The next one they plan to release is a "Love-o-meter", designed to detect emotional interest levels across the web.

"They'll like it in France," Marom predicted.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070108/tc_afp/internetitbusiness

Purchased Buses Sit Idle, Awaiting Paperwork

Andrea Klein and some of her fellow Monsey Trails commuters have been wondering about the three new buses they were supposed to be riding in by now.

The 53-seat coaches, each costing $483,409, were delivered in late November but have been sitting in a Monsey garage ever since because the seller hasn't sent in crucial paperwork required to get them on the road. Because the county purchased the buses for Monsey Trails and Coach USA with federal and state transportation funds, it must verify through an audit that 60 percent of the buses' parts were assembled in the United States.

"It's a formality, but unfortunately, it's a big formality," said Susan Meyer, who is Rockland County's spokeswoman for planning and public transportation. So until the bus manufacturer, Motor Coach Industries, provides the necessary paperwork to comply with the federal Buy America audit, they can't go anywhere.

Klein said Monsey Trails riders have been hearing about the new buses, but thought maybe there was a problem getting them registered or licensed by the state. "People are curious," she said. "The schedules were changed to accommodate the new buses and the new buses are not out."

Is this cute or is this cute :)

Lipa Schmeltzer Concert

Oops... Ouch...

A drummer at the early age

Baby Drummer - video powered by Metacafe

John To Go in the news

Family begins restroom service to complement real estate business and sees it double in size in less than 2 years

Portable sanitation company John To Go began as a support service to the real estate business of Abe and Victor Breuer in a suburb of New York City. It has doubled in size in less than two years through aggressive niche marketing, savvy sales tactics and a commitment to developing a reputation for unsurpassed customer service. The Breuer brothers see no end in sight to the growth and are preparing for the day John To Go will surpass its parent company in profitability.

Inauspicious beginnings

By the end of 2004, the Breuers developed a couple properties in upstate New York, and were having trouble finding a portable restroom company to service their building sites on a regular basis with anything other than beat-up restrooms. The brothers wanted to provide decent units for their contractors to use, and just weren’t satisfied with what was being offered.

“We decided we could do better service ourselves,” recalls Abe Breuer, 25, the younger of the brothers, “plus go after the market in a professional manner that offered people options for service and products.”

And so John To Go was born, getting off the ground in the construction field in January 2005. The company’s service area was defined by those counties — Rockland, Orange, Putnam, Westchester, Dutchess, Sullivan and Ulster — where the brothers saw the greatest potential for business. Though northern winters are a tough climate to start out in, Abe Breuer laughs off the challenges. “You know the wind chills up here, so we got the hard part out of the way. After working in those conditions, everything else seems easy.”

The Breuers made a conscious decision to invest heavily in advertising and salespeople.

“The closest you can get to most companies is their Yellow Pages ad,” says Victor Breuer. “None of the companies in our service area use salespeople.” John To Go does advertise in the phone book, but its sales and marketing efforts are more comprehensive.

“We knew we needed to make ourselves accessible on a human level. We hired a good salesperson, because we feel people need to talk with someone to learn about their choices before making a decision,” Breuer says.

Active new business solicitation

The Breuers aren’t shy about pounding the pavement to drum up business. When they were just getting started, a colleague from an existing portables company told them if another firm went up for sale, they should make an effort to buy. But they looked at that strategy and decided it wasn’t for them. “On a cost-per-unit basis,” says Victor Breuer, “that’s not the most intelligent way to build a business.” They figured they can buy a unit for about $450, but buying an existing inventory with a business would bump that cost to about $600 per unit.

The Breuers are happy to build from scratch through aggressive sales instead. “We actively solicit the work,” Abe Breuer says. And they don’t limit their exhibiting efforts to builders’ shows. They also display at bridal and home shows, and other venues that present viable opportunities. “No (PROs) go to those kinds of events, so we have a wide-open target,” he says.

Victor Breuer admits their aggressive approach has ruffled some feathers in an industry that has a history of gentlemen’s agreements about soliciting out of your territory.

“We’ve gotten some angry phone calls from competitors about this, but it’s not just something I can stop, or even think we should.” Breuer believes that they’ve hired salespeople to do a job, and he’s not displeased that they’re doing it well. “It’s one thing for us to make a living, and it’s another thing for my salespeople to make a living. The reason my salesperson can take this business is that there was something wrong (with customer satisfaction) to begin with.”

Keeping motivation high

“Heart and soul,” is John To Go’s business philosophy, though the company doesn’t yet have a formal mission statement. “We’re small enough right now not to need that,” Abe Breuer says, “but we hope that won’t be the case for too long.”

The brothers are aware that the quality of their people keeps them growing, so they make a conscious effort to retain good employees.

“Loyalty goes both ways,” Abe Breuer says. “We don’t expect loyalty from an employee if we don’t give it. We treat them as family. Birthday parties are a regular thing. We also make ourselves available via cell phone for emergencies at any time of the day or night. We invite our employees’ families over for dinner. It’s a good motivator.”

The company also holds regular meetings for the portables side of their business every Monday morning. “We focus on sales,” Victor Breuer explains. “We believe anyone who works for us, no matter their job title, is a salesperson. A secretary who is rude or uninformed can lose a sale. We have a chart that tracks what kind of orders we have for each kind of business, construction or events. We give ourselves a minimum goal of 20 new orders each week, and chart it. We use that as a motivational tool.”

Maintaining that kind of cohesion among team members can be a challenge in the atmosphere that’s a fusion of portables and real estate. Offices for each segment are on opposite sides of the same building. “When I first started, I thought the portable restroom part would take 15 to 20 percent of my time, but it’s already taking 75 to 80 percent,” muses Abe Breuer. “It’s a challenge, because they’re two different kinds of businesses. The people who work in each business can’t help with the other. Monday and Friday are busy for the restroom business, whereas it doesn’t make a difference day to day with real estate.”

High visibility and a high-end look

Part of what drives the growth of John To Go’s market share is the company’s commitment to maintaining super-clean, up-to-date units in good repair. The Breuers understand the importance of branding and positioning their company. Abe Breuer remembers, “We knew when we started the business that we’d have to be different, but not just different — better.’’ All of their restrooms are purple, which helps in branding, and each carries the John To Go logo embossed in the door.

With a sales background, Abe learned that marketing is a huge factor in getting orders for a product that’s typically thought of as “kind of dirty.” “Our company’s slogan is ‘The Cleanest John When You Need To Go!’ We spent $60,000 (when we started) on brochures and postcards, which will change regularly, and our Web site changes constantly to show people we’re alive.”

The effort has paid off. “Customers call now asking for ‘John To Go,’ not just for portable restrooms,’’ he says.

An inventory of more than 600 restroom units and four restroom trailers is serviced with a 1998 Dodge Model 800 flatbed with a 600-gallon waste/300-gallon freshwater Crescent tank and pump; a 2005 Isuzu Workmate with a 650-gallon waste/300-gallon freshwater Crescent tank and Masport pump; and two Fords, an F-550 and a Model 950, both with 650-gallon waste/300-gallon freshwater Satellite tanks and pumps. They run three of the trucks regularly and keep one in reserve for emergencies. All trucks have Berg pressure washers. “I don’t see why every truck doesn’t come equipped with a pressure washer,” Abe Breuer says. “They take out stains better than a brush.”

Operations center plans for growth

All units, equipment and vehicles are based at John To Go’s 16,000-square-foot main office and warehouse on 1.5 acres in Rockland County. “We don’t buy for today,” explains Victor Breuer. “We plan for what we’re going to need.” The Breuers are also leasing a 2,300-square-foot office and warehouse in Goshen, N.Y. They opened it because it shortens delivery time to distant counties.

To maintain acceptable profit margins, all trucks have Garmin GPS navigation systems and tracking devices. Drivers are accessible via BlackBerry PDAs and Nextel two-way field phones. Every driver leaves the yard with a fresh restroom ready to deliver, in addition to those already ordered. Drivers are encouraged to sell, and the extra unit makes that possible. If a driver picks up a new sale, he gets half the profit from the first month as a bonus.

Administrative costs are kept in check through the use of Summit XP software from Ritam Technologies to schedule and keep records. But all the technology in the world is no substitute for keeping in touch with the day-to-day operation of the business.

“Once a week we drive a route,” says Victor Breuer. We refer to this exercise as ‘the white shirt route.’ That way we get to meet our customers, and stay in touch with our routes. We get new customers that way, too.”

http://www.promonthly.com/Articles/January.html

Indian Teacher explains to students about the F~ Word use

Some driving skills...

Fantastic Machine

Fiber Optic Flower - - pretty...

THIS FLOWER IS AWESOME, TO YOU FROM ME

You're My friend,
through good times
and bad
my friend,
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beside me you stand,
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you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
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I know you'll be there,
throughout the years!
You are all good friends to me
and I am grateful to you.

Is this nice or is it nice...

Orthodox Jews trash prison vehicle over electronic tagging

JERUSALEM (AFP) - Crowds trashed a prison vehicle in an Israeli city in a row over the electronic tagging of an Orthodox Jewish man.

Prison officers went to Bnei Brak after they stopped receiving signals from the high-tech device that local rabbis decreed could not be worn on a Saturday, the Jewish sabbath, the Yediot Aharonot newspaper said Tuesday.

Confronted by an angry mob, the prison offers fled the city -- a stronghold of Haredi Judaism, the most conservative branch of the Jewish faith -- on foot, leaving their vehicle to be smashed and overturned with its windows broken.

The man had been electronically tagged as a form of house arrest for his role in a recent violent demonstration against a gay pride parade in Jerusalem that was subsequently cancelled.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070102/wl_mideast_afp/israelreligionjudaism_070102104324

Help save Baby Tiferet Ayala

Baby Tiferet, age 7 months, lives in Gush Etzion. She was born with a highly uncommon bilateral cleft lip. This anomaly makes it urgent for her to undergo two highly complex surgeries at the Boston Children's Hospital under Dr. John Mulliken. The doctors recommend that Tiferet should go through these procedures as soon as possible. Without these surgeries, Tiferet will suffer from hearing and speech disabilities with continuous threat of suffocating.

The cost estimate for these surgeries, not including accommodations, is $130,000 Your immediate tax deductible donation is the only possible way to help rebuild Tiferet's life. The trip to the USA is set for January, 15, 2007. All donations are welcome and may be transferred into a special fund that was opened especially for this purpose at the Gush Etzion Foundation. We need your help now! for Baby Tiferet Ayala Daltrophe" All donations are recognized as Tax Deductible by Article 46 of Israel's Taxation Laws and 501c in the USA and will receive receipts.

For donations on line, http://gush-etzion.org.il/donate_now1.asp

or by mail:

Gush Etzion Foundation
POB 1030
Manchester, NH 03105
Tel: 603-623-1212
Fax: 603-627-0029
www.gush-etzion.org.il
gushezif@zahav.net.il

In Israel:
Keren Gush Etzion
Alon Shvut
D.N. North Judea
Israel 90433
Tel: 972-2-993-9917
Fax: 972-2-993-2169
www.gush-etzion.org.il
gushezif@zahav.net.il

TIZKU LEMITZVOT!!!
(posted on MonseyShuls by Haya Hava Shulman)

Highlights from Hasc 19

I believe...

• I believe - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• I believe - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• I believe - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• I believe - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• I believe - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
• I believe - that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
• I believe - that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
• I believe - that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
• I believe - that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• I believe - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
• I believe - that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• I believe - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• I believe - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
• I believe - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
• I believe - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• I believe - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
• I believe - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• I believe - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• I believe - that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for whom we become.
• I believe - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
• I believe - two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• I believe - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• I believe - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
• I believe - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• I believe - that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
• I believe - that you should send this to all of the people that you believe in. I just did.

The Yiddish AlphaBet Song

HAPPY NEW YEAR ... 2007

Happy New Year to all!

2007